Father is a Doing Word

Yesterday Happy Father’s Day messages were all over social media. One directly sent to me caught my attention and got me thinking about fatherhood.

After reading this message, I wondered what the sender had in mind. I came to the conclusion that probably he wanted to highlight that fatherhood is a doing word. In this article I share what I suppose was running in his mind. I asked for permission to share his message. He gladly agreed. I decided to keep him anonymous. As my thoughts raced on what he probably meant, an acronym came to my mind. What is a FATHER?

F: Father is a Fail-safe Figure
As I read the message, it dawned to me that I may have been a fail-safe figure to this young person’s life. Things may have gone wrong, yet he may have found fatherliness in childlessness. I deeply touched by the fact that he could look up to me as a father. For sure father is a doing word. It seemed to me that fatherhood is not a position one acquires by having a child but a title earned after one has lived a legacy.

A: Father is an Accessible Achiever
The drive to achieve in men may render them inaccessible. They may become present-absent individuals. The quest for wealth accumulation, upward mobility, and becoming the best above the rest may starve out the ability to connect with those in need of care. The young man’s message reminded me that whatever achievement I can attain, I must not forget that I should be accessible. Those burdened with care must find it easy to confide in me. My wife should not find it hard to connect with me because of my thirst to be an achiever.

T: Father is a Tolerant Teacher
There are many people who need direction in life. There is a scarcity of tolerant teachers who will understand that faults don’t mean that the people are the fault. A father is an individual who will be able to get into one’s shoe and walk with them without condemning them.

H: Father is a Healing Hard-worker
From the heart of father fountains of a healing heart spring endlessly. They continually drip with words that heal the hurt, calm the crushed, sooth the segregated, and mend the maimed. This is my view of the young man’s message.

E: Father is an Empathetic Expert
People need someone to be with them. With so many things that call for attention there is a dearth of empathetic presence in meeting the needs of the care seekers. For want of emotional release, some couples have lived with husbands that are experts in solving other people’s challenges but lack the skill of empathy in their own homes. Since father is a doing word, it must be positive and impactful. Somebody rightfully said, “People don’t care how much you know but how much you care.”

Father is a Reliable Role Model
Having no child has challenged me to be a living legacy. I can’t afford to wait for the time when I am in the grave. Father is a doing word. Let me live the legacy: be an example to those that are seeing me a fail-safe figure, an accessible achiever, a tolerant teacher, an empathetic expert, and a reliable role model.